Secrets of Attraction

I used to think men were either born attractive, or they were out of luck. Like many of my friends, I had a limiting belief that women were only attracted to men who are physically good looking. This limiting belief may have been due to the fact that men place such a high value on looks, but the truth of the matter is that women are much less shallow creatures than men when it comes to this issue. (I know, I know…there are exceptions).

Don’t get me wrong, there is no doubt that a well dressed, well groomed look is a great way of generating attraction. However, there are MANY other things that are MUCH more important to a woman than looks. Women are attracted to qualities such as leadership, ambition, popularity, depth, and the list goes on and on.

One of the best ways to build attraction is with Social Proof.  Imagine sitting in a bar when suddenly, a man comes walking through the doors. All the heads turn to smile in his direction and someone leaps up out of their chair to greet
him.  As everyone sees these events happening, their entire perspective of the man is instantly being associated to one of respect, social acceptance, and high value.  That is the position you want to get yourself into when you walk through those doors.

It takes a while, but eventually you get to a point where so much of the work is done for you. You can just sit back and enjoy the show. Having a local hang out where you get to know the staff is a HUGE benefit. When the bouncer lets you in for free, or past a long line, that is Instant Value and you become respectful to people watching.

Or…imagine you in the middle of a conversation and the sexy bartender comes up, asks you if you need another drink by name, and mentions how she loved that thing you did for her last time. It is a beautiful thing, and it also raises your value. It would cause a huge attraction spike for anyone who saw.

A second benefit to having a regular watering hole is that you get to see familiar faces. You will see guys and girls that you have hung out with before. As soon as you walk in, you are saying hi to everyone and getting caught up from last time you spoke. This puts you in a talking mood and shows those around you that you are social and connected.

You are also familiar with the faces of all the waitresses. You need to have perfect strategy that wins them over bit by bit with each one of your visits. Women love to come up and talk to you when you are talking to other women! Women will always overestimate the attractiveness of the other girl and underestimate their own.

Some guys mistakenly think that, in order to attract a woman, you have to buy them drinks. I have asked tons of women if having a guy buy them a drink ever works. I have NEVER had one woman tell me it works! Not only does it convey that you are trying to buy them off or get them drunk, it also has been done TOO many times by other men. You MUST be the exception.

A Day of Romance

Valentine’s Day, to some folks, is the worst day of the year, especially if they are not in a relationship or don’t have a date. I’m going to give you some advice on how you can successfully navigate the challenges of the day and have a perfect evening.

SELECT  THE RIGHT GIFT

One of the major Valentine’s Day pitfalls to avoid is choosing the wrong gift. For guys, if this is your very first date, don’t give her a gift. If you’re invite her out, you should pay for dinner. If Valentine’s Day happens to fall in the early stages of a new romance, it can be pretty confusing. In addition to the above, flowers are ok…but have them delivered prior to the date (goes for both guys and girls), do not bring them with you at the date.

You also don’t need to buy a full bouquet, two or three roses are enough to express your feelings. Things change when you’re buying a Valentine’s Day gift if you’re involved in a steady romance. Here you can be adventurous and buy a gift that reflects the nature of the relationship. This is the time to buy a gift that is unique and represents admiration for the other person’s qualities, not just their looks or “hotness”.

THE DATE

Now that you have obtained the proper gift, there is still much to be done before setting up the perfect date, and you should start early. Spend the day flirting with him or her via text messages. Tease them (they say teasing is a sign of affection), entice them, keep the other person excited about the special evening they will have with you , and that this is not just another date. This is something special and you are going to make it memorable.

Anyone can give a bunch of flowers, and a box of candy, but only someone with a fine imagination can make it wonderful. Keep your attitude fun and playful. It’s important to be interested, AND be interesting. You need to fascinate and engage them. In the end, these are the things that matter the most, not the location or the expensive gifts.

HAVE DESSERT

Don’t forget dessert! Women specially…., they love chocolate. The sexiest thing about chocolate is its taste and its unique melt-in-your-mouth quality. Try a bowl of strawberries and dipping chocolate. This will be amazingly fun and exciting.

USE FRAGRANCE

No…I don’t mean you should go ahead and bathe in perfume. A lot of people are alergic to the scent of alcoholized perfume, so use non-alcoholic or oil based scents. You can buy it at any natural food or aromatherapy store. You can also use an assortment of different fragrant flowers strategically placed to fill the room.

Remember…It’s about you creating a memorable experience for your date. Now go have fun!

Is your insecurity the biggest problem?

There are a lot of guys - and gals - out there, who are struggling with their relationships. Either they can’t find someone to be with or if they are with somebody, they can’t connect with them the way they would want to. 

Let’s say you’re a guy and are trying to get into a relationship with a woman, but have these self-doubts that you may not be a very attractive person, or rich, or very muscular, or any of the lame excuses that you have come up with in your mind. If you continue to think this way, you won’t get too far.

Instead, think of yourself as a person of value. When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you see a human being who can benefit others, or do you see a worthless slob. I’m sure most folks don’t like to be called worthless slobs, but in their minds they are coming up with all sorts of excuses as to why and how they are losers.

When a man is talking to a good looking woman, he becomes nervous, because he starts to think that he may say things that may be percieved as silly or stupid. What you have to do is realize that no matter who you are talking to, no matter how attractive they may be, they have their own insecurities, just like everyone else. They may seem confident, but underneath all that charm and beauty, is a person who is insecure about something.

If you want to be successful in relationships, or any area of your life for that matter, you have to change your thought process. Work hard to improve in all areas of your life. Insecurity is an ugly thing, so confront the root cause of your negative self image and get rid of negativity from your mind. Remember…happiness is a choice.